Life is Good

I am in a wonderful mood today. At the end of the week, I'll be on my way to Georgia to find new housing. This is such an adventure!

Avery's diet modification is going so-so. He found a bag of peanut m&m's and is now eating it. *sigh* Maybe an abundance of sugar and protein will short out his system and he'll actually be calm. Either way, he's going to school in 45 minutes so I'll have a few hours of calm before the storm hits.

Ryan is hitting the terrible two's with reckless abandon. My boys are so gifted that they hit the terrible two's when they are 18 months old *said with tongue in cheek*. Yesterday when he was irritated, I handed him old sunglasses in a futile attempt to amuse him. He took the glasses, threw them to the ground then stomped on them. He's also taken to hitting when he gets mad and when he does it he looks at you as if to say "Yeah?! You gonna do somethin about it?"

We taught him to say "yo" like the New Yorkers in the visa commercial that I love. I figure before I move out of NJ to Georgia I should teach him at least one stereotypical New Jersey phrase. Yooooooooooo is as good as any right?

So I put Ryan on the phone so he could say Yo to Eddie's voicemail. He also finally got the whole concept of the phone but now things that my cell phone only has "dada" on it. I picked it up today and he started saying "dadadada"

I'm off. I'm way late to shower and I want to take a walk today. Its mild and overcast so I won't be too hot. I can probably take a rather long walk if I have the time. Shoot.. maybe I'll stop at the library first and get a few books on Cd to listen to while I walk. I miss the mp3/radio.

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Both the little terrors, that I call my boys, are sleeping. They've been sleeping since 7:30pm. This means two things. One, I'm in heaven at the moment and two, they'll be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. Its worth it though because Avery's been especially oppositional lately and frankly, I'm exhausted. I have always respected single parents and do even more now that I've had a sample of what being a single parent is kind of like. I say "kind of" because, I have the deep knowledge that I'm not alone and its only a matter of time before Eddie will be a regular part of our life.

Its amazing to me how much a partner can really change things. Eddie is a partner in every sense of the word. Yesterday when I said something about Avery being rotten to his brother...ok, I said Avery was being a jerk (totally inappropriate I know, I've already scolded myself all day over it) Eddie called me on it. At first I was a little irritated but he's absolutely right. I just find myself exhausted and not able to be the proactive parent that Avery needs most of the time. I admitted as much to Eddie and his first reaction was to offer me a few days at a spa when he gets leave from his training. Although making the offer is so sweet, I couldn't take him up on it. I can spend an afternoon away but more then that and I start to get homesick.

When I think of being away from the boys and how easily I start to miss them, it makes me respect what Eddie did even more. Before he went to boot camp, he had only been separated from his children twice for one night. The first time was when he worked an insane overtime schedule and had to work straight through the night. Avery was 3 weeks old and he ended up coming home for an hour anyway because Avery wouldn't stop crying no matter what I did and I called him at 3am crying. The second time was an overnight processing for the Army.

I don't think I will ever get over the amazing sacrifice that I feel Eddie made for us. It might be hard for others to see it that way because they didn't know him before he joined. Eddie has never been a conformist, has always had a certain contempt for authority, wore torn jeans and t-shirts every day, and is so attached to our family unit. Its partially very uncharacteristic for him to make this sort of decision. On the other hand, he loves the outdoors, was very athletic before the boys came along and what man doesn't like playing with weapons if all they are doing is practicing?

I can say, with every fiber of my being, that I would do anything for that man. I would have walked over 950 miles of hot coals if it meant that I could see him after we were separated. I almost feel like we love each other more then most married couples. I am crazy about that man.

I am also starting to ramble. My brain shut down after the dueling screechers. For 30 minutes or so, Ryan and Avery took turns screeching at the top of their lungs in the car and I think it may have short circuited something in my head. I started to listen to a meditation tape that I had and got exactly 4:36 into it before Ryan woke up and wanted to nurse. The meditation session is 10 minutes long so I only got half relaxed.

If it seems like I'm complaining I'm not really...my current thoughts revolved around being excited about moving, planning for packing and transportation of my things, thinking about my trip at the end of the week, loving my kids no matter what challenges they throw my way and being madly in love with my husband. If this isn't a charmed life, I can't imagine what is.

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