I'm depressed. I haven't felt this way in quite a long time. All of the things I can normally eclipse with joy is now bubbling to the surface.

After the fire at our house, my mother-in-law let Eddie and I live there for four months. After we left, we didn't speak to her for months. When Ryan was born, we didn't call her to tell her. She didn't get to see him for nearly a month. When she did see him, we were very icy to her and really didn't go out of our way to make it a regular thing.

I want to tell her I am sorry. I feel so stupid over the whole thing. I love Eddie's mom. I don't mean that in the "Oh I just love her" kind of way. I mean, I love her like she is a member of my own family. I wish I could take it all back. Especially, now that we are leaving.

I'm going to write her a letter before I leave. Total cheese, I know. I was planning on doing it anyway. I want to say I'm sorry. I will say I'm sorry.