I had a long, but wonderful day. My mom, sister, the boys and I went to the Philadelphia Zoo. We got to see lots of animals and both of the kids took in everything and seemed to enjoy themselves. It was rainy for the first part of the trip but later cleared up. It was just rainy enough to scare off crowds, so, we had most of the zoo to ourselves. We got souvenirs (as all good consumer tourists do) and Avery and I even got to ride in the "Zooballoon" which took us up 400ft in the air to look over the Philadelphia skyline. I had so much fun! Its a trip I hope to remember for a long time.

Afterward, we went to the Olive Garden and had food. It wasn't exceptional and I spent at least 20 minutes (10 min x2) with Avery in the bathroom. The kids were very tame and I have a feeling they will both sleep like rocks tonight.

I have to call EVIL HESAA tomorrow to get yet another round of paperwork sent to me about that damn student loan. What a waste of $3500. I might try to get a pay based Army loan to cover the settlement cost because no matter what I have to pay back, it will be worth it to NEVER have to deal with those Nazis ever again.

I'm nervous. Only two more days till I'm in the car, leaving NJ. STILL putting off packing. Bad Kelly...

I said good bye (or see you later) to my good friend Lauren and my mother and father-in-law today. I haven't really let the feeling sink in. I am sure Friday will be tough enough. My sister (if she comes) my mother and my best friend will be there to wish me off and I am sure I will be a wreck for most of that time.

Today, in a very "Celestine Prophecy" kind of way, I ran into the last x boyfriend I had. I went with my mother-in-law to a grocery store to take money out of the ATM because the first and second place didn't have working machines. Felix walked by and eventually I ran face into him. I know he saw me and probably didn't want to run into me (I broke up with him (yes, you read that right...one of the only people I've broken up with) for Eddie).

It was nice seeing him. He looked really good and it doesn't hurt to have a pleasant last thought about someone who, at one time, was a very important part of my life.

Ryan is attacking so I'm off to nurse

I'm depressed. I haven't felt this way in quite a long time. All of the things I can normally eclipse with joy is now bubbling to the surface.

After the fire at our house, my mother-in-law let Eddie and I live there for four months. After we left, we didn't speak to her for months. When Ryan was born, we didn't call her to tell her. She didn't get to see him for nearly a month. When she did see him, we were very icy to her and really didn't go out of our way to make it a regular thing.

I want to tell her I am sorry. I feel so stupid over the whole thing. I love Eddie's mom. I don't mean that in the "Oh I just love her" kind of way. I mean, I love her like she is a member of my own family. I wish I could take it all back. Especially, now that we are leaving.

I'm going to write her a letter before I leave. Total cheese, I know. I was planning on doing it anyway. I want to say I'm sorry. I will say I'm sorry.

*sigh*
Lots to do..no motivation.
I think one of the recent tornadoes touched down in the upstairs
Must do something about it.

Miss my baby
I wish I could wake up with him tomorrow.
Will he ever be allowed to be with us again?
*sigh*

EFMP

And I think to myself "If you don't have anything nice to think... don't think at all"

******************

The EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program) is a Department of the Army program which assists eligible family members of Army enlisted as well as other branches of the Army and retired. To qualify you have to be the family member of one of the above, who has a disability which limits that individual's ability to function on a daily basis and requires ongoing counseling, training, education, therapy or treatment. Examples of qualification include Attention Deficit Disorders, Emotional Disorders, Cerebral Palsy, Down Syndrome, Developmental Delays, Birth Defects, Epilepsy, Deafness, Mental Retardation, Asthma, Nutrition and Metabolic Disorders, Mental Disorders, Childhood Hyperactive Syndrome, Orthopedically Impaired, Speech Impaired, Leukemia, Diabetes, Autism, Heart Condition, Sickle Cell Anemia, Visual, Hearing and Learning Impaired. (most of this quoted from the literature they sent home with me)

In order for me to enroll Avery into this program, I have to fill out a form and send it to school to have the school fill it out. Every time I get a paper back from his school, it upsets me. I know that Avery has problem behaviors. I live with it every day. I almost collapse at the end of some days with frustration, sadness and exhaustion. I often want to cry when I get the reports home from school because it only seems to.. I don't know.. enlarge, exploit, highlight, smack me in the face with his behavioral issues.

From the form I got back yesterday:
Under What criteria is student eligible for special education?
N12 Specific Learning Disability
N09 Speech Impaired

Present level of Performance (x appropriate column to indicate student's present level in each area)
Self Help- (2) Normal
Gross Motor (2) Normal
Fine Motor (3) Mild Delay
Social (5) Severe Delay
Cognitive (4) Moderate Delay
Expressive Language (4) Moderate Delay
Receptive Language (4) Moderate Delay

Other Comments:
Avery is a sweet child, despite his impulsivity and very high activity level. Lack of good attending skills impact his learning skills. Behavior issues (aggressive) are a concern.


Let me start off by saying that I love his teacher. I, for a whole lot of money, wouldn't do her job. She has Avery, and 11 other students like him, and I don't know how she does it. I admire anyone in special education who does their job well.

Where do I go with this? It is obvious that he is ADDH. The school has never said those words for, I am sure, a variety of reasons. I don't know what to do. I really don't. What do you do for a child whom you love more then yourself? I want to do the right things. I want him to have a satisfying and full life and I just don't know how to get him there.

I'll know better on Thursday because he's going to the Army doctor. Thus far, I have been more than pleased with the military doctors. They talk to me like I have a brain. They take a wait and see approach with most things (which I admire), but really look to the patient for input. And most of them (the ones I've seen so far) are young, and that leads me to believe they are recently trained and not using outdated medical practices, which is so often the case with older doctors.

Avery is finally old enough that these symptoms.. behaviors will be recognized as a problem. Before, anyone I spoke to had a wait and see attitude. Maybe it was his age. He might calm down as he gets older. We shrugged it off to the changes he was forced to endure. First to the move from our house because of the fire and the hospital stay only days earlier. Second because of the move out of Eddie's mom's house suddenly and into my parents house. Third because of his Daddy not being here. The final trauma he'll be forced to endure is to leave the home he's known for the last two years, leave his grandparents and school behind and move twice, the second move being to another country. I hope he makes it through this last ordeal no worse then when he started.

I love my son. I love him so much that its physically intolerable if I reflect on it for too long. More then anything, I want my son to have good health, joy in life and a healthy self esteem. I'm just afraid I might have to make decisions I don't want to, in order to make that possible.

HESAA vs. U-Haul

HESAA is the Higher Education Student Assistance Authority. This is a New Jersey based company that takes over student loans that have been sent into default. They also provide loans for school and other services related to borrowing money for school in New Jersey.

U-haul is a company that rents trailers, hitches, trucks, storage space and sells packing materials.

I first dealt with HESAA during a bad financial patch and after I ran out of deferment time. They have a 1-800 number to call to ask them questions about your account but only one extention to dial if you are a miscreant and have fallen into default. This extention will often hang up on you. Once there are 10 people in que to talk to a customer service person. This is especially frustrating. You have to go through a voicemail system first and make aproximately 3 selections before you get the option to enter the extention number. The system then says "Hold while we connect your call" and you hear silence, and then it hangs up.

In general, the people they employ aren't very versed in the law, what their jobs are, what the regulations their company has etc (read: they hire mostly idiots). I feel the need to add here that on occasion I have actually talked to a few very helpful people, but again, that is rare.

I was informed of a program that allowed me to enter rehabilitation for a years worth of payment in good standing. I entered the program and made all of my payments for 2 years on time. During this time they garnished my tax return twice. Eventually, I requested information about having my loan discharged twice,(part of the program) and twice never received anything.

I also requested information about having a settlement amount on my loan. I was told by the woman that I spoke with to fax someone a letter stating my reason for wanting a settlement. Two weeks later I got a letter thanking me for sending them a letter and asking me to call the 1-800 number to speak with a customer service representitve.

At Christmas time this year, we fell on some pretty bad times. I didn't pay my student loan payment. I reverted back to square one with the rehabilitation. I was in the process of having my loan consolidated and found out, because of this, I was having trouble. Getting someone on the phone who knew what they were talking about was impossible. They had the wrong lender down as the one that was consolidating my loan. I got hung up on literally 10 times. I talked to 3 different people until I found out what happened and I actually found out through the company I applied for consolidation through. I also found out they sent back an incomplete form concerning my consolidation while they were threatening to garnish my tax return again. By the time I finished finding out what happened, it was a day later then when I started and I was nearly in tears.

Thankfully, I believe my consolidation is almost processed and I won't have to deal with these people EVER again.

I first dealt with U-haul when I was interested in renting a trailer and buying a hitch to move my furniture to Georgia. They were very friendly and I had no problem making reservations. The trouble started when I wanted to cancel my reservations.

I called the 1-800 number to cancel my reservation for trailer and hitch installation because I decided to rent the apartment fully furnished. I was contacted by the local office and told they wouldn't return my deposit because it was a special order hitch. I told this man that according to the reservationist, I had 48 hours to cancel my appointment and they would refund my money. He said to call customer service.

I called customer service later that day. The first person transfered me to customer service. The second person transferred me. The third person transferred me. The fourth person transferred me. The fifth person transferred me. The sixth person transferred me. The seventh person tried to convince me that I needed to call the local office. I told him I didn't want to, I wanted my money refunded. I explained to him that I spoke to the local office already and they told me to call the number that he works for. He told me to call the local office. I told him I already did and they told me to call him. He said "Ok. Well then try this 1-800 number". I told him I didn't want to try another number, I had been transferred 7 times, called the local number twice and I JUST WANTED MY MONEY BACK. Finally I relented and took down the number that he wanted me to call and it turned out not even to be a working number.

I called back, asked for that number again. Got it and waited until the next day to call it. When I called that number, the man I spoke to told me, in a very unkind way, that they have nothing to do with that and to call the 1-800 number. So finally, exasperated, I called the 1-800 number (again) and the man I talked to told me that within 10 days, my money should be refunded automatically to my card. I was both relieved and very irritated. He said that during this time of year they hired a bunch of people and that most of them didn't know what they were talking about. No kidding.

No matter how you slice it, if I never have to deal with either institiution again, I'll be happy.

Ok. Lost a second post. Must be AOL. I hate those bastards. I'm only using this because it came free with the laptop I got and I can't figure out how to hook this up to the cable modem.

I got an apartment. Its cheap and I'm renting it fully furnished because it would cost me the same to move my furntiure (read: two dressers) to GA. It looks like our first permanet station might be Germany, but that could change.

I had a crappy mothers day. The ride home was easy, and I made great time.

More when I know this won't be lost.

The Eyebrow Incident

Ordinarily I'm obsessive about grooming my eyebrows. I usually trim the hair I leave with scissors to make sure they don't get too long (the beauty experts(scoff) recommend this). Today I get the brilliant idea to use my fathers beard clippers to get them even all over in a short time without having to go through the trouble of using tiny scissors and a tiny comb.

I had the beard trimmer on the next to last length setting and nothing happened when I went over them. I thought for sure that the last length setting, still with a guard on, would be fine and as you can see...it wasn't. So I pretty much shaved off part of my eyebrow and faced with the dilemma of having uneven eyebrows did the other one to match.

The last time I actually used eyebrow pencil, my hair was blond. My hair is now my natural color (not blond) so I had to go out and buy new eyebrow pencil.

************
Its raining beautiful outside. If I had my way, I'd stand outside until the rain soaked my body until the cold bit into my skin.

Rain in warm weather is my absolute favorite weather.


A high school boyfriend of mine and I once made out in the rain against a telephone pole. Its one of my favorite memories of him. The rain streamed down our faces, soaked our clothes and we just kissed out in the open like we didn't care who saw.

Ugh.. I wish I could go out there right now. I wish I could lay down on my back porch and let the rain beat on me. I can see it now...me laying out there and my parents happening on my accidentally. There is a time and a place, and I will have my day under the heavy skies.

Moral of the story: Don't use any kind of clippers on your eyebrows

If I'm a good girl, I'll be packing later on instead of sitting in front of the computer.. this is of course before and after American Idol (yep, I'm a loser)

When you have a child, and hold that child in your arms for the first time, you never imagine that child will one day leave a path of destruction, scribble on the back seat of your new car with crayon, kick his brother for no apparent reason, stuff the sink with toilet paper, write on EVERYTHING upstairs with a red permanent marker, not potty train until he's 4.5 years old and then potty train overnight like he'd been doing it his whole life, decorate the desk and (freshly painted) walls with black permanent marker after you were SURE you got rid of every permanent marker with a 5 mile radius, fall into a computer monitor and bust his eye wide open and bleed all over the floor, fall up concrete steps and knock 3 of his teeth back into his mouth eventually leading to him losing his top two teeth and bleeding all over, walking out of the house while you nurse your newest baby, in his underwear, chasing after his daddy and get picked up by a stranger that returns him to your house.

They never tell you those things, but I think they should. Just so you can be prepared.

Life is Good

I am in a wonderful mood today. At the end of the week, I'll be on my way to Georgia to find new housing. This is such an adventure!

Avery's diet modification is going so-so. He found a bag of peanut m&m's and is now eating it. *sigh* Maybe an abundance of sugar and protein will short out his system and he'll actually be calm. Either way, he's going to school in 45 minutes so I'll have a few hours of calm before the storm hits.

Ryan is hitting the terrible two's with reckless abandon. My boys are so gifted that they hit the terrible two's when they are 18 months old *said with tongue in cheek*. Yesterday when he was irritated, I handed him old sunglasses in a futile attempt to amuse him. He took the glasses, threw them to the ground then stomped on them. He's also taken to hitting when he gets mad and when he does it he looks at you as if to say "Yeah?! You gonna do somethin about it?"

We taught him to say "yo" like the New Yorkers in the visa commercial that I love. I figure before I move out of NJ to Georgia I should teach him at least one stereotypical New Jersey phrase. Yooooooooooo is as good as any right?

So I put Ryan on the phone so he could say Yo to Eddie's voicemail. He also finally got the whole concept of the phone but now things that my cell phone only has "dada" on it. I picked it up today and he started saying "dadadada"

I'm off. I'm way late to shower and I want to take a walk today. Its mild and overcast so I won't be too hot. I can probably take a rather long walk if I have the time. Shoot.. maybe I'll stop at the library first and get a few books on Cd to listen to while I walk. I miss the mp3/radio.

***********

Both the little terrors, that I call my boys, are sleeping. They've been sleeping since 7:30pm. This means two things. One, I'm in heaven at the moment and two, they'll be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow. Its worth it though because Avery's been especially oppositional lately and frankly, I'm exhausted. I have always respected single parents and do even more now that I've had a sample of what being a single parent is kind of like. I say "kind of" because, I have the deep knowledge that I'm not alone and its only a matter of time before Eddie will be a regular part of our life.

Its amazing to me how much a partner can really change things. Eddie is a partner in every sense of the word. Yesterday when I said something about Avery being rotten to his brother...ok, I said Avery was being a jerk (totally inappropriate I know, I've already scolded myself all day over it) Eddie called me on it. At first I was a little irritated but he's absolutely right. I just find myself exhausted and not able to be the proactive parent that Avery needs most of the time. I admitted as much to Eddie and his first reaction was to offer me a few days at a spa when he gets leave from his training. Although making the offer is so sweet, I couldn't take him up on it. I can spend an afternoon away but more then that and I start to get homesick.

When I think of being away from the boys and how easily I start to miss them, it makes me respect what Eddie did even more. Before he went to boot camp, he had only been separated from his children twice for one night. The first time was when he worked an insane overtime schedule and had to work straight through the night. Avery was 3 weeks old and he ended up coming home for an hour anyway because Avery wouldn't stop crying no matter what I did and I called him at 3am crying. The second time was an overnight processing for the Army.

I don't think I will ever get over the amazing sacrifice that I feel Eddie made for us. It might be hard for others to see it that way because they didn't know him before he joined. Eddie has never been a conformist, has always had a certain contempt for authority, wore torn jeans and t-shirts every day, and is so attached to our family unit. Its partially very uncharacteristic for him to make this sort of decision. On the other hand, he loves the outdoors, was very athletic before the boys came along and what man doesn't like playing with weapons if all they are doing is practicing?

I can say, with every fiber of my being, that I would do anything for that man. I would have walked over 950 miles of hot coals if it meant that I could see him after we were separated. I almost feel like we love each other more then most married couples. I am crazy about that man.

I am also starting to ramble. My brain shut down after the dueling screechers. For 30 minutes or so, Ryan and Avery took turns screeching at the top of their lungs in the car and I think it may have short circuited something in my head. I started to listen to a meditation tape that I had and got exactly 4:36 into it before Ryan woke up and wanted to nurse. The meditation session is 10 minutes long so I only got half relaxed.

If it seems like I'm complaining I'm not really...my current thoughts revolved around being excited about moving, planning for packing and transportation of my things, thinking about my trip at the end of the week, loving my kids no matter what challenges they throw my way and being madly in love with my husband. If this isn't a charmed life, I can't imagine what is.

*******************

Sometimes all it takes is an old friend to renew your faith in mankind.

Maybe I didn't suck as much as I think I did.

I was reminded of a particularly hellish night attempting to drive in Manhattan. I think my memory of the event was erased because of the trauma of driving. And, I'm told, someone taking a cops gun and shooting it or some such thing. Oh, and me almost side swiping a police cruiser.

You would never imagine some of the things I actually did if you looked at my life now. I wouldn't change one thing either.

The sink is still clogged so I think I;ll head out tomorrow before I tell anyone about it. I just rubbed a tissue with Trident in it on the computer screen in an attempt to remove a smudge on this STUPID, no glare, computer screen and got gum gook on it instead.
Dumbass, you should have thrown the tissue away after your put your gum in it. And you should get your ass to bed because Ryan IS going to wake you up prior to 9am. NOW GO TO BED!
*******************

My life is in chaos and disarray and I don't know how to get things organized. I need to move my things in 3 weeks and I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to do that either. I have no doubt that this will all work out but the anticipation is a little nerve-wracking. I think I need to call U-haul and see if they'll allow me to pull a trailer with a Saturn sedan. I want to laugh even typing that. Picture this.. An agressive driver driving 700 miles with 2 young boys in the car and a u-haul trailer on the back. I'd imagine you need to drive slower with the trailer on the back.

Time to get moving sister! Whee!! Isn't this exciting! Moving somewhere entirely new for the first time in your life! WHAT AN ADVENTURE!

I'm off to get a shower, get dressed and call U-haul to have them laugh at the prospect of towing a trailer with a Saturn.
*********************
I had a wonderful day today. Ok.. well not wonderful but very good. I visited my parents-in-law and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I really like both of them and I'm glad that the disagreement we had is behind us now. For those who don't know, we lived with them immediately after the fire at our house. What was supposed to be two months turned into 5 and we eventually got asked to leave after a fight my father had with Eddie's mom about how long it was taking to fix the house. That is how we ended up here. It was really bad and Eddie and I didn't talk to his mom for a long time. Ryan was born and she didn't know until the Friday after it happened. In retrospect things should have happened differently and I'm just glad its over now.

I am having a hitch installed on my car on the 24th. I have the Trailer reserved for the 30th. My parents are both trying to mentally sabotage me by saying (repeatedly) "I don't know how you are going to do this...how are you going to fit your things in there...how are you going to figure out how to drive it" and many other variations of the negativity. Hmmm its a wonder I have any self-confidence at all. I love them both nonetheless. I know in their messed up way they try to do what is best and I quite often focus on the negative things that bother me rather then the positive things that don't. For example, my dad uses his hilton card to make reservations for me whenever I have to go to a hotel. They also paid for the hotels that we stayed at during Eddie's graduation and gave both me and my sister $100 on top of that.. Oh, and they let me and my husband and kids live here rent free/bill free since 5/01 and have never asked for a dime to cover any of the food we eat or utilities we use. Man.. I am a fucking ingrate aren't I?

Shoot.. now I'm feeling guilty. Man...once I start going down this road its a slippery slope. I think that is why I tend to be such an optimist. I just focus on the positive so I don't end up wearing black all the time and wanting to kill myself. I don't tend to get that way but when I do I wallow in it so its just best to avoid it altogether. I'm good enough, and smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me

Familiar

Had a pretty good day today. Took a long walk at the tow path near the rapids. Many many memories there. Afterward went to the health food store to start buying food for our new diet. I'm adding flax seeds to anything I can (we're strict vegetarians so no fish for Omega 3's) and trying to weed out processed sugar and artificial dye to see if it helps Avery at all. His hyperactivity seems to be stepping up and if I can help him through diet, I'll give it my best shot. It will be much easier to make a total change when we aren't living here anymore although my parents do seem to support any diet regulations I tell them about.

I used to shy away from the health food store but when you really think about it, it costs way less to buy healthy food and prepare it rather then buy Burger King or other fast food junk. Our dinner tonight was spaghetti with gardenburger "meat"balls and a bit of flax seed added. I used half a package of meatballs (aprox $2.50), one jar of sauce ($2) and around half a pkg of spaghetti ($.50). So basically it cost $5 for all of us to eat a way healthier meal then the $8 one we got from Burger King last night.

Avery just told me "I have a head ache all the time right here" and he pointed to the bridge of his nose. His nose is running a little. I hope its not a cold.

I've chickened out and switched my reservations in Augusta to the Hampton Inn rather then the Super 8. I'm so excited for my trip!

************************************************

Never tell a 4 year old to go wash his hands in the bathroom... by himself.

*sigh*

Toilet paper all stuffed in the drain. My dad is going to SHIT when he sees this mess. Plunging isn't helping.

Ugh
******************************************

Whee! I think I may have found one of my all time favorite authors on LJ. I hope that he won't mind me adding him as a friend. I've always loved his writing style. He once wrote me a poem at a very difficult time in my life (I still have it). Ironically, my icon of a blooming flower relates to the poem he wrote for me. He and another person I found on LJ nursed me through one of the hardest nights of my life and I will NEVER forget how important it was.

Sometimes people become an important part of your life simply for their proximity to an event. I don't know if either person there that night even wanted to deal with what was going on, but to me, they were saviors. In my memory, I think of them that way. I don't know many people from that era of my life who I think of with that kind of fondness because of the tenderness they showed when I needed it most.

I think back of all the things left unsaid. Most simply, thank you. So, if either of you make it here, or even give a shit, thank you for helping me on New Year's Eve. Thank you for listening to me, in the dark of your room, cry for hours on end. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you. I'm sorry I've never had the opportunity to return the favor.

I feel kind of funny finding people I know out here. Its the mislead egomaniac that thinks that anyone actually cares. Either way, I've found someone who writes, who's writing I love to read and now, I can read it again.

My trip, days 1,2 and 3

My trip was amazing. Seeing Eddie in his uniform for the first time sent me in to a torrent of tears. He looks beautiful and much like he did the first night we kissed. I remember EXACTLY what he looked like that night. I imagine it will be the last image I see when I leave this earth.

We took the drive in two days, but had it not been for my sister I might have been able to do it in one. I did get my start at 5am just as I had planned although most people I knew said it couldn't be done. (4:55 to be exact) The first day we stayed at the NC/SC border in a town who's name I can't remember right now. We had continental breakfast, which incidentally, I will never tire of.

When we made it to Fort Benning, we went to the barracks where Eddie had been since 2/11. I wanted to sit for a while and really absorb the gravity I felt. I was less then 100 yds away from Eddie but still forbidden to see him. It was very surreal.

The next morning (after continental breakfast compliments of the hotel on base) we made our way to the hall where they were staging family day. We arrived 45 minutes early (I am obsessive about few things but one of them is being on time) and thankfully they had a TV in the rec center for Avery to amuse himself. I cried a little.

At 9:05 we were seated in an auditorium where we listened to a short speech about our soldier (insert me crying here), their drill sgts and what they were and weren't allowed to do.

No Drinking
No Drugs
No Driving
No taking off the uniform
Have your soldier back at 20:00

Easy enough.

We all filed out and lined up so we could watch the soldiers march. I cried a little more. We could hear the soldiers singing their cadences from the sidewalk. (I cried a bit and started to tremble) They started marching toward us. I have no idea what they were saying except for "Kill" I could make that out clearly. This, in and of itself, was VERY entertaining because imagining Eddie saying "Kill", with a bunch of other guys, is very uncharacteristic of him and funny.

They got closer. Then I spotted him. Finding the words to describe what I felt at that moment is difficult. He looked wonderful. He was glowing. All of the waiting, at that moment, was over. It was cathartic. I had made it. He did too. I was proud of the both of us, washed over with love, reminded of my attraction to him, his being a wonderful father, and a deep sense that the worst part of the basic training experience was now behind us. I started to cry hard enough that I couldn't see. I don't know what they said or did after I spotted him. I really can't remember. All I can remember is seeing him, starting to shake then they released the soldiers.

I hugged him and cried (I know! I'm a big cry baby). We spend a wonderful day together. Avery looked at him at first. Most likely because he looks a LOT thinner then he did when he left and in addition wore a beard for most of the time. Most of the pictures Avery looked at had Eddie with a beard so I think he was just making sure that was actually his dad. I think the suit threw him off too because Eddie was a jeans and t-shirt man. It didn't take him long to tell his Daddy how much he missed him and hug and kiss him.

Surprisingly, Ryan knew who he was too. I was most worried that Ryan wouldn't remember his dad, but relieved that he did. He went right in his arms and started calling him dada. Even now when he sees pictures of Eddie he says DAAAA or Dada.

We went to a very nice Chinese food restaurant and had the most amazing tofu dishes. Eddie ate all of his and half of mine. Something I learned about the South in the first couple days...If you request ANYTHING vegetarian you WILL throw a wrench into the whole getting food thing.

"I'd like two hamburger kids meals with no meat"
"You want no meat?"
"Yes, no meat"
"You mean you want the hamburger with no meat"
"Yes"
"So what you want is a bun and ketchup and pickles"
"Yes"
"Oh, well I don't know how to ring that up. Let me get my manager"
5 minutes goes by and the manager comes over. She can't figure out how to ring it up either so they just tell the burger maker my order while 20 people accumulate behind me.

As we were finishing up our amazing tofu, our waitress, who happened to be haitian, approached the table next to us. The man sitting at the table said (loudly) "Hey, you aren't chinese. I thought this place was supposed to be authentic" (of course with the southern drawl you would expect in GA). Our jaws just about hit the table. That is just something you wouldn't EVER hear around here and it took all of us by surprise.

Afterward we went to the local mall, walked around and most importantly, got Eddie his first coffee drink in 10 weeks. We spend the rest of the time in our hotel room, the px (arcade for the boys). When it was time for him to return, Avery got really sad. While falling asleep in the back of the car he cried and told Eddie that he didn't want him to leave. We both explained to Avery that we would get to see him the next day. Both boys fell asleep in the car on the way back to the hotel.

Graduation and the oddesy to Fort Gordon.

Graduation day went smoothly. It was dark and the clouds were pregnant with rain but amazingly, the first drop did not fall until the last word of the ceremony. They marched, had a guest speaker and sang the Army song. Eddie's parents were there and I was very glad for it.

After the ceremony we all went to Denny's. It was Eddie, Georgiann (his mom), Kenny (his step-dad), Jodie (his sister), Melissa (my sister), Avery, Ryan and myself. We all had a blast and ordered dessert. Everyone gave their desserts to Eddie when they had eaten as much as they could manage. Eddie ate up most of the leftovers.

We toured the base with his parents and stopped a few places. One of the places we visited was the Infantry Museum there. As we were taking pictures, I looked over at Avery and he had his pants around his ankles. He was peeing on a tree outside the museum. I nearly fell over. I could not stop laughing. Jodie told him, when he said he had to go to the bathroom, to pee on the tree. I don't think she knew that he would take her seriously. I think Eddie's parents might have even gotten a few pictures of it.

After the museum, Eddie's parents left and my sister went to the hotel room. Eddie told me while we were out that Drill Sgt. Golden said we could follow the buss to Fort Gordon because after they processed, the soldiers would get weekend leave. I was beyond excited at the prospect and arranged for my sister to catch a ride home with Eddie's parents.

That night we had the most AMAZING mexican food. I can't remember the last time I've had mexican food that delicious. The salsa they put out with chips when you sit down was so good. We both had vegetarian platters which included an enchalada and gordita. I even had flan for dessert. Eddie is still talking about that restaurant.

After I dropped Eddie off I had a very stressful night. It was pouring and I got lost like 10 times. My sister wouldn't come out the hotel room so I had to drag two sleeping kids from the car to the hotel and eventually back out to the car and back in to the hotel. I was worried about checking out on time the next day and making it over to Eddie's barracks to see him off. I barely slept.

The next morning it was still pouring. I managed to find the place to check out (after getting lost) and also found my way to the barracks (after getting lost). If I never have to drive at Fort Benning again, it will be too soon.

I waited for a few hours mainly because I didn't know what to expect. Civilians were milling around but it was teeming rain so I didn't want to get out unless something was actually happening. Thankfully, when something started to happen the rain mercifully let up. I met a very cool woman who was married to a guy in Eddie's platoon. Nicole Hedley (I think). She was very outgoing and I liked that. She said she was going to follow the bus to Fort Gordon and that I should follow too. I figured, "what the hell" and planned on that. After a while, the men filed onto the bus and I jumped in the car and away we went.

The bus got lost twice. I started with a quarter tank of gas because I hadn't originally planned on following the bus. When we came to a red light, I put 10 dollars of gas in my tank as quickly as I could and did 85 in a 45 to try to catch up with the busses. I thought for sure I had lost them. After what seemed like an eternity, I spotted the busses and finally caught up. Not more then a few minutes later we turned off the road we had been on, so I caught them just in time.

They stopped for lunch and me and the boys got to have lunch with Eddie. Avery peed twice which set him for the rest of the trip (thankfully...you never can tell with a freshly potty trained boy). The rest of the trip was ultra-smooth. I followed Nicole who followed the second bus. There were three other families following the first bus. We made it to Fort Gordon without a hitch.

The company commander briefed us and let us know what to expect. From what I understand, Eddie is now in phase 4 of his training. When he goes to phase 5 training he will have his weekends to himself. When he hits phase 5+ it will be like a job, and he will have his nights and weekends to himself. The Co Commander was very nice, very patient and answered any questions that people may have had.

After the briefing the kids and I hung out for a while. Eddie called and told me that he thought he wouldn't be done until 9pm. I had a feeling he would be done sooner so I stayed on base and took the kids for dinner at the PX. Sure enough, he called just as I got the kids in the car and prepared to head over toward his "dorms". He was finished and DONE FOR THE WEEKEND!!! I had my baby all to myself. I would even get to sleep in the same bed!! That is only one of the many things I took for granted during our separation.

We rented a room, ate at the Waffle house and turned in to sleep. We both got cell phones (see earlier entry) and basically enjoyed the hell out of our time together. I think it was during this time that we discussed it and in light of the situation, decided that the kids and I will move. I am excited and can't wait. I'm also very nervous because I have heard more then once that they officially don't recommend it. If I get to spend weekends with him and eventually have him at home more often I think its worth it. Avery misses him painfully when he's not around and so do I for that matter.

When we left at 3pm on Sunday Avery said "How many days until I get to see my daddy again". I was impressed at his calm. I was sure he'd be crying.

I ended up driving straight through to NJ. I got home in one piece at 5am. My head hurt from me trying very hard to keep my eyes open. I got to hear 4 hours of Loveline (I LOVE Dr. Drew). It was entertaining and kept me awake through the end of NC, all of VA, DC and most of MD.

It was a wonderful trip and I get to make the drive again on 5/11. I'm going to Fort Gordon to arrange housing for us. I'll keep an update when I have the chance. I'm plum exhausted and hoping to hear from Eddie tonight. He has class from 4ish until 12ish so he tries to call after. This is SO much easier then basic training. This feels like a piece of cake after it.