Its very cold out today. Nothing like the last two weeks. It actually snowed last night. I went to the Stacy park, but didn't want to torture Ryan by taking him on a walk. It is just way too cold for him and I didn't bring enough clothing with me to bundle him up.

I am considering going to a "support your troops" rally this weekend. I really do support the troops, just not the administration that deployed them. Its not the war that I am upset about. Its all the other sneaky things that were going on before this war started.

I wonder about people who say how glad they are that president Bush was in office as of 9/11. Do you think any other president would have stepped up to the plate? Or any other mayor? Politicians are just mouthpieces most of the time. I have a feeling that no matter who was in office, they would have also "stepped up to the plate". GW was nothing special.

My Birthday is tomorrow. 28 years old. Wheeeee. I am going out with my friend Lauren and my parents are watching the boys. I am excited :)

I keep having dreams about ex-boyfriends. I'm not sure why but apparently my subconscious feels the need to reconcile things that I have already come to terms with on the surface. One dream in particular that repeats itself in different scenarios. I see Patrick Guidotti (a boyfriend of mine when I was 17), we try to be friends (nothing more), his (now) wife finds us together and freaks out while I try to explain that we are nothing more then friends. I think most of this is due to my missing Eddie's tenderness while he is away. My subconscious brain is seeking out people who have been tender with me in the past and trying to recreate the feeling through dreams in a nonsexual, therefore non threatening fashion.

I can't help but wake up and wonder what the hell my brain does while I sleep. My dreams are always so far fetched. Quite often I am running in my dreams. Running to things. Running away from things. I hide from things a lot in my dreams. In my dreams I also have problems dialing the telephone. Its usually in emergency situations. I can't dial the numbers that I need and keep mis-dialing. I dream about certain ex-boyfriends often but usually it revolves around their positive qualities and the times when they've treated me well. Thankfully there are certain exes that I NEVER dream about. *Thanks her subconscious mind for sparing her slumber from them*

I haven't dreamed about Eddie enough since he's been gone. I think its because I've been purposely not focusing on how much I miss him and I think this suppresses dreams about him. I had more dreams about him when he was here then when he left.

This July we will have been married for 6 years. I am more in love with him now then ever. He is amazing. I love him so much that sometimes I feel like I'll pop. I feel so lucky that I can share my life with someone whom I so deeply love. I wonder sometimes if its normal for married people to feel this way about each other. Everything that came to pass before makes sense because it led me to him. I think I am the luckiest person in the world.